Day 10: The First Time I Fell In Love

Day 10: Describe the first time that you fell in love.

Oh boy okay time to take a trip down to memory lane… I don’t really want to buuuut apparently a Pinterest challenge is making me do this for writing purposes LOL.

My first ever relationship started out in the 10th Grade. This boy and I were friends before anything, and that turned into becoming best friends, and then eventually into something way more. It was the most innocent case of puppy love and it was all I knew. We fell in love so fast and everyone could see it. I was one giddy mofo. I am not going to lie, I really did love this person with all my heart at the time. I put them before myself and everybody else in my life. We were happily together and in bliss. We did everything together, had the same friends, loved the same kind of music.. you get the picture. To be quite honest, it wasn’t until I started growing up and maturing that I saw myself becoming my own DIFFERENT person. My life was changing and I craved independence and time to myself – something I never got since I cared so deeply about this relationship and put it first. I felt as if the relationship was staying static and I no longer saw it going anywhere. As all good things come to an end, my personal growth and evolvement unfortunately did not include him in the picture and we had to end things.

When you love someone so much, especially if its your first time experiencing love, you will do anything to keep that love growing and strengthening. That is something I tried to do for the 3 years I was in this relationship. Unfortunately, I neglected myself and was blindsided by love. For one, I didn’t love myself first. I wasn’t happy with the way I looked, acted, handled things, etc. My confidence and self-esteem was regressing but I was too occupied to work on it. Another big factor was that this person and I weren’t growing together and I hated the thought of having someone change themselves for me, especially if they weren’t ready to or wanting to. It is just not right to expect someone to change for you! I was adapting so much into a completely different person and taking new interests in other things and wanted to travel more and just LEAVE AND DO ME.

With all due respect for this person, I do thank him for giving me 3 years of love and happiness. Things ended on a sour note but at the end of the day, my first love was definitely significant. A lot of things in the relationship were not good (things I didn’t even see or realize until I got older) and it continued to show even more towards the end. It took me a long time to stop caring about another person’s happiness over my own FIRST (which has proven to be the healthiest decision I made for my own well-being).

Overall, LOVE IS AN AMAZING AND POWERFUL THING BUT IF YOU ALLOW YOUR LOVE FOR SOMEONE TO NEGLECT YOUR OWN GROWTH AND PERSONAL WELL BEING THEN IT IS NOT LOVE. IF THAT PERSON LOVES YOU TOO AND IF THEY ARE THE ONE, THEN THEY WILL ALREADY BE GROWING ALONGSIDE YOU OR LET YOU GO IF THEY CANNOT.  ❤ 

Stay rad,

Tanya

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